Romancing SaGa 3
by RandomIdiot
Summary: This is (almost!) a novelization of Romancing SaGa 3. 23rd October 2003, 2:00 PM: All right, if I get these questions answered (see my newest "chapter"), I can probably start writing this thing. Please, read & answer them if you can.
1. Godawful DisclaimerThing

--==** Romancing SaGa 3 **==--

Game created by Squaresoft

Novelization written by Lord Kyrn

READ THE FOLLOWING OR be blasted by the ray of stabbity death:

__

Note: If you haven't played the game, this will seem like random garbage, so just go and play it. Now. Hey, I really meant it when I said "now". No, stop clicking back to Hotmail, dammit! Download Snes9x, download the v.1.0 RS3 rom––NO, NOT "BONDAGE FAIRIES EXTREME", RS3!!–_–download Mana Sword's 99%/v.0.30 patch, and finally, get IPSWin, and patch that mother. Eeeeeexcellent. Now play, already!_

Not a disclaimer:

-All of the characters, places, names, and such all belong to me. Me me me me.

-Now, if you're a petty-minded little assblaster, you believed that. It's goddamn obvious who RS3 belongs to, looking at the title. Hint for the thinking-impaired: Only this novelization (and all of its chapters) is mine. This disclaimer is now over. If you have any complaints, bite me.

Note for ff.net readers:

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––==–== NEW! NEW! HEY, LOOK AT THIS! YES, THIS! WOW, THIS IS PRETTY INTENSE! ==–==––

I've finally gotten off my lazy ass and gotten a mess of IM accounts. So if you've got IM, and some free time, and want to talk about the novelization/help me with the novelization/scream filthy words at me and demand to know how the flying F I've had this up for a YEAR now and still not gotten any actual novelage out, contact me on any of the following mediums:

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MSN: LordKyrn@hotmail.com / **Yahoo:** lord_kyrn / **AIM:** CrackSmokinCetra / **ICQ:** 225041339

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Wanna review? Great! Don't wanna? Too damned lazy? Also great! 

I will delete all reviews from any MegaSenshiGundamNekoYaoiFiend-Chan/Kun's or any dA_|\/|4d_133t_|-|aXx0r's. People using names like these are what we call "hideous abominations."

If you do post a review, please know:

--ANYTHING that is vaguely along the lines of "waow d00d, you rihte teh gr8ist storiyz!!!! make it a kathail plzz!!! thanky ou!!!!" will be deleted.

--Anything attempting to *promote* yaoi goes bye.

--Anything attempting to *bash* yuri gets similar treatment. Sorry, but the review sheet ain't a message board.

--Anyone saying that, because of the above, I hold a double standard.

--Any and all pairing requests will be deleted. This is about the GAME, not strange crack-induced relationship ideas (none inspired by any other narcotic, either. All pro-yaoi fangirls are by definition, high on something. Really, what else do you think they're refilling their Sephiroth-head Pez dispensers with?). Write your own RS3 stories with your pairings (or even without them… the Internet needs RS3 stories, lemons or no, badly!), if you want, but don't call your request a review. Then again, I'd probably wholeheartedly endorse any RS3 yuri, if it existed… (as long as it didn't look like a paint-chip-eating second-grader drew/wrote it.)

--AOL is a creation of Satan. This isn't really relevant, but that's not the important thing here.

--Anything else as I think of it.

Now, if you've managed to get through this without being offended by it, then happy day for you. The RS3 experience shall now begin. 


	2. Prologue, Part 1: The Threat of the Deat...

--==** Romancing SaGa 3 **==--

Game created by Squaresoft

Novelization written by Lord Kyrn (lordkyrn@hotmail.com)

Disclaimer Lite: Names, places, events = ©Square / Novelization = ©me. Play the game. Now read or piss off, I don't care which.

Prologue, Part 1:

The Threat of the Death Eclipse

Black Hole Sun,

Won't you come...

--Soundgarden, "Black Hole Sun"

Somewhere, out in space, there is a small blue-and-green planet named Atheras that orbits a yellow sun. Every three hundred years, a unique type of solar eclipse occurs on this planet, having a horrifying effect on everything dwelling in, upon, or above its surface. Called the Death Eclipse by the people living on the planet, the results are devastating: All newborn life - be it fresh sprouts, day-old animal cubs, human infants barely through their first week alive, or even newly-hatched ants - dies. Many explanations have been offered, none have been fully proven. All that is known is that at the moment of totality during the eclipse, the holocaust strikes. Absolutely _nothing_ newborn & living escapes this fate… With one exception.

But one day, 610 years ago, a child of noble birth somehow survived but to this day, his name is unknown. He grew up, but his perspective on life was twisted by his unique status as the only survivor of the Death Eclipse ever recorded, coupled with an aristocratic upbringing. He used both of these traits and more to every advantage, and his power grew. He gathered an army with seemingly impossible speed, and one day, declaring himself the Devil King, he opened the Abyss Gates, bringing forth the four Demon Lords of the Abyss, the Dragon Rulers, and the foul minions of both. Afterwards, the Devil King simply…vanished. None knew where to, and any who did carried it to their graves.

Humanity suffered under this horrible reign for nearly 300 more years, when then the Death Eclipse occurred once again. Miraculously, another child survived. He was born to merchant parents in the northern town of Lance. He grew up differently than the Devil King: not sheltered, but seeing the horror of the rule of the Abyss demons up close, and its debilitating impact on the human race as a whole. Finally, he decided to take up arms against the Demon Lords, and with the assistance of a powerful group of his friends, they started a revolution. As this new savior gathered an army to bring against the Demon Lords, he became popularly known as the Holy King. The Holy King and his forces were amazingly successful. They drove back the Demon Lords into the Abyss itself, and finally sealed the Abyss Gates, ending Abyssal rule of the planet.

10 years ago, the Death Eclipse struck again. The world is waiting, watching for the appearance of the new child of destiny, feeling both eagerness and apprehension.... Will the child be another Devil King... or a Holy King?


	3. Prologue, Part 2: Introductions and Begi...

--==** Romancing SaGa 3 **==--  
  
Game created by Squaresoft  
  
Novelization written by Lord Kyrn (lordkyrn@hotmail.com)  
  
Disclaimer Lite: Names, places, events = ©Square / Novelization = ©me. Play the game. Now read or piss off, I don't care which.  
  
Prologue, Part 2: Introductions  
  
"Watch closely, now. The special effects are very impressive." --- Terry Pratchett  
  
See now the planet of Atheras, like a bumpy blue-green-white marble. It's funny that on such a small thing, the lives of billions are at risk. Few of them - maybe a thousand, possibly fewer - are actually aware of this fact, though. A good thing, too. People can live, and have lived, their lives accepting the fact that any day, something 'unexpected' could happen which would kill them. It's usually in the back of their minds, and not something they think directly about too often, or for too long. But the ways they expect their 'unexpected' end to be are in normal, relatively uncomplicated ones. Rarely ever do they consider that it might be due to neither such a natural cause, nor on a larger scale than just one person.  
  
Look closer at this marble, at the Jormunstad, the greater western region of the main northern continent Emliskov. It is there that the fates of these lives shall be decided, by a handful of people who happened to be at certain places, at certain times. Not necessarily always the /right/ places, the /right/ times, or the /right/ people, though. This is their story. It starts in many places, with many people, all over the continent. Let us see them as they were just before the story begins.  
  
In the easternmost area of Jormunstad, in the capital city of Loanne:  
  
We are inside Loanne Castle, center of government for the unoriginally- named Kingdom of Loanne. A young blonde woman is walking down a well-lit corridor as thunder booms outside, in the traditional dark and stormy night that is the beginning of stories everywhere. She stops, and cocks her head slightly, hearing voices somewhere. She traces the source of the sound to a pair of large, ornate doors by a railing overlooking the stairway below. She listens to the voices. After a few moments, her eyes go wide.  
  
  
  
  
  
Loanne Castle, a different room and a few minutes later:  
  
A woman in a deep purple dress, slightly older than the blonde, sits in a study, reading a sheet of paper, most likely some sort of report. Her hair, unlike that of the blonde, is white, pulled into a bun, with spiraling strands hanging down in front and in back. This is not the white of age, but rather the pure white of the Elite Royal Guard, a rank only a few people may hold at any given time. She looks up, as the blonde girl rushes in and starts going quietly and mildly hysterical. She listens to the blonde girl's story, and her eyes narrow. After a few minutes she calls for a servant.  
  
The Northeast Track, near Shinon Province, one night later: Four friends walk along the wagon path, talking and joking, even in the middle of the rain and thunder. A man in a red jacket sports long spikes of hair, dyed green in the style of the ancient swordmasters. He does, indeed carries a blade, as if to prove this point. The man next to him is slightly taller, and has hair that looks, as he himself is the first to describe it, "moldy-brown." He wears glasses, and his cape is drawn up about him, keeping him dry. He has the look of shrewd businessman, which is exactly what he is, although the glasses probably encourage this image. The woman next to him is grinning at the joke just told by the green-haired man. Her thick jacket is keeping her insulated from the elements, but she wears no head covering or hat, letting her brown ponytail get soaked, but she doesn't really look like the type who gives a damn how her hair looks like all that often. Slung into holsters of her own design on either side of her belt are small two hand axes. A girl with pale green hair walks close by her, not saying anything, but smiling at some of the jokes, occasionally. She carries a bow, and has a quiver of arrows slung over one shoulder. It's not immediately obvious until she gets into her element, but the girl is a skilled hunter. The four turn a bend, and come upon the small frontier town of Shinon. The local inn, The Duck-of-Prey, is well-lit, and they head towards it.  
  
The Duck-of-Prey, Shinon Province, a few minutes earlier: A man sits at the bar, chatting idly with the innkeeper. His skin is a slightly burnt brown, not often seen in these parts. or any others away from the Librof Mountains, near the Naj Desert. He wears a deep blue greatcoat, and has long, straight black hair. A curved sword sits in a scabbard at his waist. The barkeep asks a question, and the man dark- haired man remembers a time not so long ago, in the desert.  
  
Maxis', Great Arc: A old, sea-faring man who looks to be on the bad side of 60 also sits in a bar, although he doesn't really fare well on the seas these days. White hair flows forward from over a red headband, and this is indeed the white of old age. Odd, though, that there should be so much hair on one getting on his years surely, baldness should have begun its treacherous advance, and yet it hasn't. Other things are odd about this man. He wears scruffy, ragged clothing, yet at his belt is a well-used, much-loved silver- crested axe with a keen edge despite the nicks. A large-handled cane rests against the bar by his seat. He takes another swig, and mentally curses a name, as he has done for 7 years now. It is a name with many other names, and many evil deeds to its titles.  
  
Seaforge Smithy, Pidona: The door of the Seaforge & Daughters, Co., bursts open, and a woman in a green tank top and work pants rushes out, her mass of reddish-brown hair only kept partially in check by the red bandana and goggles on her forehead. Following her are several men and a blond boy in his 20s. They all head for the docks, where a small crowd has gathered, and one of the dock patrolmen has just finished lifting up a soaking-wet body out of the harbor. It is a fresh corpse, dead no longer than a few days. The woman's eyes go wide, and her mouth drops open. She checks the body's face, sees who it is, and begins to cry. The young boy kneels down beside her and holds her, as squeezes his eyes shut against the pain and sadness. The other men who followed are muttering darkly to themselves, and shaking their heads. They don't like what has happened. The woman looks over the boy's shaking shoulders, and notices something about the body. She lets go of the boy, and reaches over, willing herself not to shudder as she turns the corpse's arm slightly. For the first time, she notices the deep scratches on the arm, which form a word, and a symbol. She looks at the clenched fist, and manages to pry it open. Now that the death grip is broken, four small, red, rock-like things tumble out.  
  
Draferatu Castle, Podol: A pale man sits in on a throne in a dim, chilly room. Not much can discerned about him in the gloom. He sits, silently, with the infinite patience known only to those who have experienced being (or, in the vast majority of cases, ARE) dead. An hour later, there is a *tink-tink* sound at one of the windows, and the pale man gets up for the first time in an hour. He walks over to the window and opens it. A large raven flies in, bearing a slim black pouch attached to its chest by means of a harness. The pale man opens the pouch, and takes out a folded sheet of paper covered in small handwriting, and reads it. The information comes as no surprise. He brings over two dishes, one of water, and food in the other, then walks down the twin staircases by the throne. Preparations must be made.  
  
Outside the Lasaiev estates, Librof: An upstairs window opens wide on newly-oiled hinges, and a pair of arms shove a mattress out the window. There is the sound of quiet but hurried packing, then a young girl in her late teens sits on the sill. She is dressed in all dark gray clothing except, for some reason, a bright yellow coat. She tenses herself, and jumps, landing feet-first on the mattress. Even with the mattress to cushion her fall, hitting the ground jars her slightly. She waits a few moments, then, checking to make sure everything else is still where it should be, she opens a pouch on the yellow coat, removing a small rose quartz crystal. Her lips move silently, trying to recall something, and after a minute or two, speaks some strange words. The crystal's pale pink flares into a much brighter, more solid shade for a second, and the winks out. The girl is still for a moment, then walks toward a circle of torchlight and hesitantly reaches toward her long brown hair - except it is now a hue of bright pink. She smiles, letting her hair fall, then turns, and dashes off toward the city gates.  
  
Central Moses, the next day: An elegantly dressed man and woman, both somewhere in their late 30s, stand by a large stone well, heatedly arguing. Pointing, gesturing, and yelling, the conflict intensifies. Finally, the woman says something with a gesture of finality. The man's fists clench, and his eyes begin to literally glow red. The woman asks one last question, flipping her sea- green hair out of her eyes. The man responds by bringing up one arm, opening his hand, and screaming something in a language not heard in Moses for many, many years. A ball of fire leaps out of his hand and streaks toward the woman. It splashes against something invisible a foot in front of her, briefly revealing a marbled-green bubble around her. She raises both arms straight up into the air, and rises about 20 feet off of the ground. Smiling, she calls out in a tongue sound much like the one the man was using, and points a finger at him. The man, wearing a blood-red jacket, jumps up out of the way of a bolt of lightning that strikes the spot he had occupied a moment before. Instead of landing back on the ground, he shoots into the air, bringing himself on an even plane with the green-haired woman. He smiles at her grimly, and begins chanting in the same ancient language as a barrage of lightning bolts flies at him, but are shunted to either side of him as they are about to strike.  
  
The duel has begun.  
  
The West Forest, near Zweig: An attractive light-brown-haired woman wearing a blue sweater stands, on a stepladder beside a gigantic metallic monstrosity in a spacious workshop. She is reaching inside of the thing, moving something around, and swearing occasionally. The thing is easily the length of a diesel locomotive, and half the height of same. This however, looks a lot more menacing, both in reality, and in general design. The thing has an overall golden sheen to it, with black trim. The woman is clearly frustrated with some part of its inner workings. All of a sudden, there is a loud clattering, rattling noise, as of a shaking cage, from somewhere in another room off of the workshop. She looks up for a few seconds, looks back at the machine, then back to where the noise came from. Finally, she hops gracefully off of the 7-step ladder, walks over to a door, opens it, and walks inside. Unseen by anything or anyone, the eyes on the strangely twisted skull-hood of the monstrosity begin to glow.  
  
15th Street, Yamas, late that night: In the slums of Yamas, a man is about to die, and he won't even know it. He is the owner of a bakery in the city. It's been a business in his family for many years now, and all of a sudden, he is told to relocate his business. Representatives of the Dophore firm have told him he needs to find another spot for his bakery, because they hold the deed to the land. Both he and they know this isn't true, and that even if they did, he wouldn't be able to find another spot that would work for a bakery, in- city. He has challenged this, and taken it to the city magistrates. He is quite certain that he will win the case, and he does indeed have a goodly amount of evidence on his side. There are some who do not wish this to be the case. The bakery owner has been slated to have an "accident," due to steel poisoning. The man with the knife behind him has been quietly following in his footsteps, and is getting closer. Now he is no more than a foot away. The assassin raises his knife for the strike, then pauses at an odd fluttering sound. It costs him his life. A shadow lands atop the assassin, knocking the wind out of him. He drops the knife, which lands with a clatter. The bakery owner whirls around, and stares in amazement at the scene occurring behind him. A caped figure in black is locked in combat with a slim man in black, who has drawn another knife from somewhere. The caped figure bears a letter on his cap. The bakery owner sees this and rushes forward to help the caped man. The slim assassin sees this, and twists around, knife aimed for the bakery owner's chest. The blade's point comes within 3 inches of his heart before the arm holding it is yanked back around in an arc with a number of unpleasant snapping noises. With inhuman speed and pain threshold, the assassin grabs his knife with his other hand and tries stabbing the bakery owner once more, but the intended victim's left fist slams into the man's gut. The assassin falls over and cracks his head on the cobbles. The bakery owner turns to thank the caped man, but he is already gone.  
  
Limit Island: Out on The Isle of the Farthest Reaches, as it is known to the natives, one of the lobster-men indigenous to the island peers out of a tent. Its trained senses cannot find any sign of the great beast terrorizing the island. He ducks back into the tent, and comes out a moment later leading six other lobster-men, all about 5 inches shorter than he. They set off towards the innocent-looking path leading down to the waterfalls. Only three will return.  
  
Some 25 miles north of Shinon: A man with long, blonde hair sits at a desk in a tent. He is the commander of the forces currently camped at the edge of the Shinon Forest. He pores over maps and charts, trying to determine his army's next movement. He'd *like* to be back home right now in his own bed, asleep. This campaign has been an arduous one. He is unaware of the fact that is home will be, in a matter of hours, not his anymore.  
  
On the waterfront section of urban Vanguard, at night: Many people will say later that there should have been a guard posted by the beaches. This is a common response to tragedy, and even if there had been watchers, they would have been killed before they could raise an alarm. Four shapes slowly rise toward the surface by the tides. When they emerge from the water and begin silently trudging up the grass hills (no sense in leaving tracks), the creatures would have been seen as four, dim, towering shapes. The one in the lead motions to the others, and they head for the coves.  
  
The Mung Village, the Great Prairie: Farther east, in a yurt on the flatlands of the Great Prairie, an old woman's eyes snap open. She is shock. Things have begun earlier than expected. Not everything is ready for what should have started some years later. The situation has changed. She calls for her apprentice. A black-haired girl bursts into the yurt, carrying a powerful looking bow in hands covered by black gloves. Before the old woman can speak, the younger girl speaks in a rapid tongue rarely heard west of the Naj Desert. The old woman's eyes grow grim, and she follows the girl, who has walked back outside the yurt. She comes face to face with an enormous, six-and-a- half foot tall gray creature that looks like a hybrid between a dragon and a beetle. It speaks to her in rasps, buzzes, and clicks. The old woman covers her eyes.  
  
As we draw back, the story has already begun.  
  
Let the SaGa . continue. 


	4. List of Questions PLEASE READ THIS!

Lord Kyrn's RS3 Novelization thingy –– Questions List: 

If you would like to see this novelization _finally _get written, then please answer any of these questions if you can. The ones that 're just commentary… well, I just put those in as observations I made. But if you can answer the questions, that would be GREAT.

Also, if any of this looks choppy, weirdly-spelled, or overly-abbreviated, I'm sorry. I originally posted these on the GameFAQs forum, but these ones weren't relly answered/commented upon.

Spoilers all a-freakin-round. Watch out.

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-Planet's name: Atheras? (Okay, YOU come up w/ one!)

-The Ice Sword will look eerily like FF8's Lion Heart gunblade, w/o the ammo cylinders, and a more icy-looking blade. The potential names have been narrowed down to "Kylmäterä" (Finnish for "cold blade") and "Kristallnacht" (German for "crystal night", and also one of the precursors to the Holocaust.).

-In the Vanguard Ctrl Room, there's a plaque: "E.S.S. Vanguard--Hydra-Class Oceanic Assault Platform"

-When shifting, the Masquerade batmobiles. (Remember the retracting armor?)

-Tatyana speaks ghetto! (Well, she HAS been on the streets for awhile...)

-R.Zweiger = Rasereizweiger

...unless someone has a better suggestion, or really knows what the 'R' means. "Raserei" is German for "fury", "rage", or just generally going berserk.

-B/c it's an automatic response, the (great, great, great, great =) Professor kisses the party leader, *regardless* of gender, which will make for a VERY interesting scene.

-the name Rashkuta sounds vaguely Indian, but maybe it got katakanified (like how "televi[sion]" gets garbled to "terebi"). If that's the case, any takes on what the original might have been? (Rakjda?)

--Any thoughts on the origin of the Divine Church, or is that already covered somewhere?

-Yeah, the legend-thing says the HK's spear's name is Arakes (Mana Sword originally translated it as Alakase... 

hmmm... well, this may sound screwy/stupid, but if you stretch/mangle it a bit, you could get "Alkaiser". Wrong game, I know, but right series!). I thought that was wierd, too.

-Max plans to use the DK/HK stuff to take over the world... how?

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PERMANENT/CORE PARTY

-Katrina Lauran (Main Character, duh)

-Sara Carson (Joins Kat in Mules) 

-Nora (Seaforge) (Joins @ Seaforge Smithy, (Pidona) seeking murderer & Alkaiser)

-Harid [what's his last name?] (Joins for money, company(?), other?)

-Tatyana Lasaiev (Forcibly joins in Farce, eventually learns to kick ass, changes outfit [but keeps bear])

-Black (Herman Salazar) (Hired as Herman in Great Arc)

-Leonid (Joins after the Quest for the Holy Grail.)

-Shonen (Quiet, moody, angry-looking kid with a katana. There shall be cuttification. ) Joins after Sara disappears)

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TEMPORARY PARTY

-Volcano (For the Undersea Palace/Water Abyss Gate)

-Undine (For the Iron Foundry/Fire Abyss Gate)

-Sharl [Antrazzi?] (Joins for Gon, Muse's Dream, & Earth Abyss Gate quests)

-Muse [Claudia Clemens] (Joins for DK's Palace/Earth A.G. quest)

-Thomas Bent (Kat & Co meet him again in Pidona. Joins for Gon & Muse's Dream quests.)

-Robin (Joins briefly for the Robin quest [duh.].)

-Mikhail Ausbach von Loanne (He does need to rule a country, you know. Maybe I'll reduce his attitude. He & Kat'll write back and forth, or something. Howzat?)

-Zo [some Indian name] (Never got him; DID meet him, healed bro.[and she did that HOW?]. I get the impression he's a badass (b/c of Dragon God?), and I'd be happy to put him in for the Rotten Sea Ruins, and maybe somewhere else? Now, if somebody(s) could tell me what he's like, or has that been covered already?)

-Boston (Limit Island & Water A.G. quests. Can he actually speak ...um... whatever the dominant language in the West is [It's not English... help?])

-Zhi Lin (Joins for Zelnam Cave quest.)

-Bai Meiling (She's a crazy old lady who causes lightning/mini-quakes for fun. Whee! Joins For Zelnam Cave Quest, Assault on Huang City.)

-Yousei (Sellnight) (Guides them from the Fairy Village, Glycinia, to the Iron Foundry (Fire Gate Palace))

-[Father?] Tiberius (Don't know much about him... He'll help them through the Divine Tower... maybe they convince him they're VIPs (w/ the entrance-bribe))

-The Professor (Name?). They find her out looking for her pets, asks 'em to look so she can work on the NZ./Come back to her about Algernon, NZ, Vanguard, any sci/tech questions. Joins for Algernon, Vanguard, and Nachtezweiger quests.)

-Monica Ausbach etc.(Shows up w/ Julian later, not sure when.)

-Julian Nohl (w/ Monica.)

-Ellen Carson (Probably will show up whenever the party goes near Lance, b/c she knows the area, she's Sara's sister, AND she lets'em stay at her house free [always a plus].)

Bai Meiling (She's a crazy old lady who causes lightning for fun. That's much more funny to see in smaller amounts, and also when it's not happening to YOU.)

Poet (He'll certainly appear a few times, but b/c of playing Julian first, and never being able to get rid of him, I've hated having him in my party.)

Snowman (Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Joins Kat to waste the White Dragon Ruler in the Ice Galaxy.)

****

NON-PARTY MEMBERS

Fullbright (I know even less about him, except that I think Thomas meets him sooner, and he's the one who intros you to the Business Game. Any help here?)

Wood/Ward: There's absolutely no plot relevance to his quest.

-When the A.Lords came through for the DK (whose name is unknown...?), were those the real AL's, or their avatars again?

-When it says the DK "vanished", what's the general consensus on his fate? I personally think he either just died, OR he went East to open up the Huang City Gate, and got killed sometime after doing so.

- If you've ever read/played "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", you really start to get the idea that just about EVERYONE in power in China was a sneaky, weaselly, slippery bastard. The same seems to be true all over, here. The Seven Star Sword is mentioned in the Rot3K books, too.

-Anyone else notice the lack of high tech., even the kind credited to 'The Ancients'? (HK's Vanguard doesn't count b/c that was 1 of a kind, and The Professor only built the Nachtezweiger and the R[aserei]zweiger within the year.) Do ALL the SaGa games avoid this theme?

-In the Yousei quest-let, it says that someone crying wakes you up. Realistically, the inn is AT LEAST a quarter mile (maybe a little less) away from anywhere you could hear her crying, which would be somewhere in close proximity to the fair. Maybe it's more of a telepathic "help me, help me, mayday, etc." thingy that Yousei is sending out, and Sara only picks up b/c she's got the Fairy Bow.

-What's so special about the HK/DK artifacts? (Besides who their original owners/makers were, and their in-battle abilities) Does Maximus think that putting himself in close proximity to them will mean that he's the S, too?

-Had this great idea for when they ask then-Herman for the Dolphin Statue: "Why do you want it?" "Let's just say... we're going places."

-In crystal ruins: the chest that, when opened, summons a DrgnRulr: it's in a courtyard on a pedestal -- Raiders of the Lost Ark pedestal scene

-How are the Dragon Rulers connected to the Abyss (ARE they)? What, exactly are/were they the rulers of? Are they just big and unpleasant neighborhood bullies (of a sort... the LARGE sort.)?

-As Herman, Herman/Black is a cynical, grumpy Cid-like man; just a general crotchety guy. When he becomes Black, he's doesn't swear as often, talks more like a pirate "should", & becomes friendlier.

-Why is Stealing Hands/Barehand Catch a Big Sword waza? My theory: You smack them in the face (Or stomach, or shins, or groin; whichever works.) w/ the flat of your sword, then snatch their weapon.

-Extra suppt for my DK-disappearance-theory (He went East and opened the 5th gate, then either got wasted or yanked over or b/c 1st Emperor): Neft Elder says nobody has come from the West in over 600 years -- The time of the DK's reign. That, and how else does the DK's armor get over there?

-Psycho Helm is made from the skull of a Neft (the bug-dragon-mutants). The Zelnam (look like elves w/o shirts) and the Neft, having both come from the Abyss, both speak the same language. The DK made it to communicate with the Zelnam, and the Zelnam use some kinda funky voodoo magic. So, in order to understand their language, the DK needed to [literally] get inside their head . (Other tasteless puns include "Put their heads together.") 

-I've got the old Destroyer post! Anybody want it?

-It's not Hidora Mail, it's Hydra Mail! Look at Rudra no Hihou! There are still doofs out there calling it "Rudora no Hihou", or "Rudora's Secret Treasure" (Or, god forbid, "Rudola's Secret Treasure"). NO! It's RUDRA, because "Rudra" is a word from freakin' uIndia./u The Japanese HAD to write Ru-Do-Ra because they can't do the "dra" sound. Likewise: "hydra" is Greek, but it's written as Hi-Do-Ra so they can pronounce it. And then there's the non-Japanese son-of-tards who insist on referring to a certain anime as "Seera Muun", and then there's nothing for it but a flamethrower.

-This one's a bit more tentative: I'm almost positive that the Shellblazer should've been "Shell Bracer". It makes a lot more sense that way, and the kana certainly fit.

-Wonder Bangle = Wonder Woman's bracelets. Why? Well, the Wonder Bangle has "Wonder" right in the name. Also, the W.B. deflects "Shot"-type attacks (arrows, rocks, & other projectiles) 99% of the time. Wonder Woman's bracelets always deflect bullets. Plus, they're the same type of thing: bangles are bracelets, kinda. This has to be one of Square's weirdest references ever, along w/ the Unreal Tournament reference in FF9.

-Hair colors? How the fork do I explain THAT? 

-Why so many monsters beneath Leonid's Castle?

-Vanguard: Just like FF8's Balamb Garden going mobile! There's some more of Square's idea-borrowing for ya.

-*Looking at Square's art* ...Nora smokes? *Thinks* Heh... Nora smokes cigars… I'm so sick.

-How does Kat get sidetracked from the Masquerade quest onto the Abyss Gate quest?

-Just HOW well-known is Katrina, and does her hair-chopping REALLY hide her identity that well? It seems to me that that's sort of a half-assed explanation though, much like Clark Kent and his glasses (Superman wears/wore no mask, so the only difference between his and mild-mannered Clark Kent's faces is that Kent has glasses.). HOWEVER: It seems to me that Noble-Katrina's hair is almost PURELY white, bordering on the kind of unreal-white that Mercedes Lackey keeps on babbling about when she's talking abt. the Herald's horses. Once she cuts it off, though, you notice that it's notably less white, and a bit more messy-sparkly, if that makes any sense. Maybe it's something to do w/ owning the Masquerade? Who knows... (Label on hilt of Masquerade: "Courte Surgeonne's Warning: Ownerfhipp of thys Weaponne maye caufe Loss Of Haire Colore.") Still, why do OTHER perople have funky-colored hair? Is it natural? Is it dye?

-Why's Harid at the HK's Tomb in Lance? What's he supposed to be doing there?

-When did Tatyana run away, and how long has she been living on the streets? That, and and how old is she? I believe someone says that she's Lasaiev's youngest child (And is it me, or are the Lasaiev family's names (and name) mostly Russian?), but what age, exactly? The artwork doesn't really give any clues... I'd guess she's anywhere from 10-15 y.o., but that's a REAL rough estimate.

-What the fork is the party's motivation for heading out on some of these quests? For that matter, how would they even hear of them? I have a few ideas, but I'm not sure about them...

---The Ancient Cave

---The King's Capitol

-Has Ake had much contact w/ the outside world?

-How "techy" are Vanguard and the Zweigers? I'm guessing that the Zweigers are mostly mechanical (as opposed to electronic), but what about the AI controlling them [I'm assuming there's an AI unit in the Nachtezweiger, but something went screwy, & now it's psycho. However, she [the Professor] had only made one AI unit, which was in the NZ when it spazzed. Therefore, someone (The Professor) will have to manually drive the R(aseri)zweiger].

-And given what I was just talking about, I'm guessing that, like the Zweigers, the Prof's inventions are more mechanical/clockwork (Think of da Vinci's machines and creations from his sketches) than computer-y and electronic. Anybody else think so?

-The Professor: British-, German-, or Russian-sounding accent? Which would sound better coming from her?

-Does that big lake in the Naj desert have a name?

-How'd the Rotten Sea Ruins get, well, ruined?

-Why is the DK's Shield in Dead Man's Well? Did someone toss it in to hide it there? Was its bearer (not the DK, right?)tossed in there?

-Is Tiberius DivChurch's _official_ leader (and if so, what's his title?)

-"So, why'd you pick 'Robin' for your name?" "Well, when I was first starting out, I was trying to think of a good name, see? Then, all of a sudden, a robin flew in the door, and I thought about it for a second, and it sounded perfect!" "Oh... okay. Well, what if it had been nighttime, and it was something weird like, I dunno... a bat?" "Don't be ridiculous." (excerpt from the Robin Quest.)

-What would Kat call Mikhail, formally AND informally? Lord? Sir? Your Majesty? Your Highness? Tiger? Mikey? =D

-What's Muse's restricting condition? Physical? Psychological? Disease? 

-How do Sharl and/or Muse make a living? She's bed-ridden, and he's a half(quarter?)-cripple...

-Algernon fight: rat poison is a gas grenade causes norm rats to die, but Algernon mutates into a huge motherforker.

-Professor uses something like a grenade launcher as her weapon.

-Really IS more true to the medieval theme: It doesn't use the usual (and apparently Japanese) RPG idea of three elements (fire, ice, lightning); uses the traditional earth-air-water-fire concept!

-The Vanguard travels FASTER underwater, for some physics-defying reason.

-The "Icon of Mana" WILL make an appearance. Hee-hee!

-The chapter where they're in the bowels of Leonid's castle looking for that artifact will be called "The Quest for the Holy Grail." Hilarity ensues.

-The original script said the Dolphin Statue was made of Orichalcum (a metal as mythical as adamantium, but nowhere NEAR as cool. It was also supposedly ALL over Atlantis.), but the 99% patch said the NAME of the Dolphin Statue was Orihalkon, which I thought was a mangling of "Orialcon", which is a name Square has used before.

-Why would Kat go out of her way for some of these quests? Many of them aren't even related to the Masquerade? Did Mikhail say to go out and help people? Does she have ADD, and so can't focus on one task at a time?

-What is their reason for heading east? I was thinking maybe Johannes saw one of the astronomical disturbances that accompanies an opening Abyss Gate, but way far out East (caused by the fifth gate). However, all they find is the DK Armor and the Zelnams trying do their stuff (what?). Of course, it was caused by the fifth gate, but they don't know about it at that point...

-What clues does Kat have to go on regarding the stolen Masquerade? Nora had the name "Jackal" and the red coral, but what about Kat?

-The Dream Devil Medicine has to induce an astral state... you can't drink a potion to go inside someone ELSE'S mind, obviously. (Well, not unless it's voodoo you're dealing with, but I'm sure this ain't.) There's no way to connect them unless it released them, or set their minds all onto the same frequency, as it were.

-The "Silver Hand" is just one of the HK's two (duh) gauntlets... The power of the Silver Hand[s] is to grant full and practiced use of whichever hand they're on... This way, we get the best of both worlds: The right-hand gauntlet goes to Sharl to restore his paralyzed right hand; The left goes Harid, to grant him ambidexterity, making him a badass in combat.

-When and where would I put in Julian and Monica?

-Fire Abyss could be an iron foundry from the DK's days (Hey, it LOOKS like one.)

-Nora picks up the Dragon Spear from the Red Dragon Ruler in Huang City.

-Kat leaves Masquerade w/ Mikhail "in case she doesn't make it back" (takes Ice Sword w/ her into the 5th Gate), Nora takes Dragon Spear w/ her, and gives the HK's Spear back to send to Ken.

-Sara & Kat (or maybe just Kat) are the ones who stay at the Mung Village (how about "Peijing"?) holds onto for the Zelnam Quest.

-Yes, the Professor will french Kat. Yes, I'm pathetic.

Here's the plot layout and party sortings!

****

Part I: A guy walks into a bar…

-Beginning Quests (Katrina's/Everyone else's) (Kat)/(Mo/Jul/Sa/Thom/El/Har/), (Kat/Har/Mikh)

-Catch the Professor's Pets in the West Forest (Kat/Sa/El)

-Complete the HK's Trials (Kat/Sa/El/Har)

-Transport Goods (Lance – Yamas) (Kat/Sa/Har)

-The Adventures of Robin (Kat/Sa/Har/Rbn)

-Transport Goods (Lance – Farce) (Kat/Sa/Har)

-Stanley vs. Farce battle (ditto)

-Thieves' Cave Quest (Kat/Sa/Har) +Paul

-(Pidona: Pick up Nora Seaforge and Tatyana Lasaiev, meet Muse) (Kat/Sa/Har/Tyn/No)

-Find Gon in the DK Palace (ditto)+Thomas

-Save Yousei from the Traveling Circus (No/Sa)

-Dream Devil Quest (Sha/Kat/Tyn/Har/Thom)

****

Part II: The Quest For More Mojo

-Vanguard Murder Mystery (Kat/No/Har/Tyn/Sa)

-The Search for the Dolphin Statue/Treasure-Hunting around Great Arc (ditto)+Herman Salazar

-Two-Timing The Mages of Moses (Kat/No/Har/Tyn/Sa/Hrmn)

-(Limit Island -- Battle w/ Water [Blue?] DrgnRulr) –- Arrive @ Undersea Palace (Kat/No/Har/Tyn/Sa/Hrmn/Bstn)

-Undersea Palace –- Battle with Forneus' Avatar –- Seal the Water AG (Kat/No/Har/Tyn/Sa/Hrmn/Volc)

-(Return to Lance, talk to Johannes and Anna) –- Algernon Quest (Kat/Har/Blk/Paul/Prof)

-Nachtezweiger Battle (Kat/Har/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Prof)

-Quests in the East: 

Librof (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Harid) –-crossing the Naj Desert (ditto) –-DivTowr (ditto) –-crossing more of the Naj Desert (ditto) –-Dry River (ditto) –-The Crystal Ruins (ditto) –-Mung Plains (ditto) –-Zelnam Quest (ditto), -Kat, -Sara, +Bai Meiling, +Zhi Ling –-Rashkuta (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har) –-Rotten Sea Ruins (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Zo) –-Shinon (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har)-Zo 

-Ake: 

-Fairy Village –- Iron Foundry (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har)+Yousei, + Undine

–Battle w/ Aunas' Avatar – Seal Fire Gate (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Undn) -Yousei

-Duke Zweig's Tournament (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har)

****

Part III: Get to the bloody point already!

-The Quest for the Holy Grail (With Leonid) (ditto)

-The Maximus Quest (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Leo)

-Meet with Gwayne (Kat/Gwyn)

-Return to Loanne (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Leo) +Gwayne

-Takeoff –- Battle with Byunei (Kat/Gwyn)

–Climb Mt. Taftan –- Taftan Caverns –- Seal the Air/Wind Gate (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Leo)

-Battle w/ Gwayne (Ditto)

-Assault on DK's Palace –- More of DK's BLOODY Palace –– Battle w/ Arakes' Avatar (Kat/No/Tyn/Sa/Blk/Har/Leo)

–Sealing of the Earth Gate (ditto) +Shonen

-Return to Lance (Kat/No/Tyn/Sho/Blk/Har/Leo)

–Anna mentions Aurora to Kat –- Aurora/Snow Town/Ice Galaxy/Battle w/ White Dragon Ruler (Kat)

-Attack on Huang City (YnFn/BMlng/troops/Undn/Volc)

-Raid on Imperial Palace (Kat/No/Tyn/Sho/Blk/Har/Leo)

-Final Dungeon[s] (ditto)

-Fight the Destroyer (Kat/No/Tyn/Blk/Har/Leo)

…I think that's right.

****

Quests in the East: (expanded description and reasoning.)

-Johannes says that when the Abyss Gates open, "gaps form between the stars". My interpretation: Weird atmospheric stuff happens above or near (coordinate-wise) the location of an open/opening Abyss Gate. He sees something sorta like that happening in the East. However, the numbers from his calculations say that this gate is far beyond Mt. Taftan. So, when the party comes to his & Anna's house in Lance, he tells them about it. The reason they have to check out this first is that he thinks this could be from somebody trying to create a NEW Abyss Gate. (Yes, I know... shut up & bear w/ me) Stopping this takes priority over sealing the already established ones, so they head out to find out WTF's going on.

(The disturbance is caused by the 5th gate in Huang City opening)

-From Librof, they travel through the pass at Mt. Akuba.(Harid said he crossed this when he came West.) (Also, I forgot to put Harid's name in the Librof slot. Pretend it's in there.)

-From there they head east towards the Naj Desert, passing through the wastelands (not desert) between the eastern face of Mt. Akuba and the Tower of the Divine Church.

-After stopping over at the village by the Divine Tower (What, you thought the Tower was alone out there?), they head out into the Naj Desert proper.

-Eventually, they reach the Dry River, and take a ride on that. However, once they reach the end of that, they accidentally head north, and end up at the Crystal Ruins.

-A big sandstorm starts blowing, and they're stuck in the Crystal Ruins for a day or two, b/c it's the shelter around. Sara and Tatyana go looking deeper in the Ruins for water, and the Crystal Ruins quest is underway.

-Once the sandstorm is over they head out (going east this time), and find their way onto the Mung Plains. 

-Continuing to head east, they get into a nasty scrap, and Kat is badly wounded. Thankfully, they run into Pejing (Hey, I LIKE reference-jokes. =D ), the Mung Village. The Zelnam Quest starts here. Zhi Lin accompanies the group, minus Kat, to the Neft's occupied cave. Then, when attacking the Zelnam's cave, Zhi Lin AND Bai Meiling go with 'em, b/c Kat's still recovering.

-Afterwards, once Kat's recovered, they head off to Rashkuta, for some reason. I was thinking that Sara has a dream in which Shonen tells her to head there, maybe to heal Zo's brother, or something...

-After having been in Rashkuta a while, they realize (having made a map on Johannes' suggestion, since they're the first peeps HE knows of who have ever been out that far East.)that if they head a long ways northwest (or maybe just west), they can make it to Shinon. To do so, they have to head through the Rotten Sea Ruins, and do so. Zo accompanies them. Elephants w00t.

-Now, there's a BIG huge forest between the R.S.R. and Shinon. However, only a mile or two into it, a dryad pops out and gives Sara the Icon of Mana, allowing her and her companions to jump the forest, leaving its inhabitantants alone, AND allowing me to include the easter egg that Mana Sword built into the game with a straight face.

-Then, MUCH later, they zip over to the Tower on the Vanguard (going by way of a large river valley just west of Glycinia, [the Fairy village] then off the map, south into the Lasanti Ocean, around, and up into Naj Lake, where they dock, hop out, and head to the Divine Tower).


	5. RS3 Bonus Material I

And for no particular reason other than the fact that answers to the questions on the list aren't coming in much, here's something I came up with after my Adderall wore off.   
[Note that if you think you see anything sexist, discriminatory, or hateful -- Trust me, it's not.]  
  
**THINGS THE RS3 CAST WOULD NEVER SAY**(or do)**:**  
  
Mikhail: It's good to be the King, baby. *slaps the butt of a passing maid*  
Katrina: Actually, Mikhail quite _enjoys_ being tied up... ^_~  
Monica: I'm available for 700 Aurum an hour to anyone who can pay!  
Julian: Uhh... Monica, I like older women. Y'know, like Bai Meiling.  
Harid: I am the brooding mercenary swordsman. Brood brood angst angst.  
Fatima: Harid who?  
Thomas: Screw you, Gramps! I'm gonna go invest all of our money in Enron!  
Sara: *sings "I'm an ---hole" [by Denis Leary]*  
Ellen: Sara? Who cares about her? And where's my beer   
Zo: RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS, b$@%#! HA HA HA! DIE! DIE!  
Sharl: Muse, get outta here! I actually like guys... This is my friend Steve. Sorry!  
Muse: Yeah, I _wondered_ why you dressed like that. **Gimp.**  
Robin: Batmaaaaaaaaan! _duh na na na na na na na na na_ Batmaaaaaaaaaan!  
The Dophore Corporation: Let's change our name to Microsoft!  
Fullbright: Dude... I'm like... the main character... and, uh... stuff? *takes another toke*  
Maximus: *singing* All we are saying is.... give peace a chaaaance!  
Tiberius: Young little whippersnappers... trying to top their elders!  
Nora: I'm gonna change my name to Barbie when I marry Ken! *schoolgirl giggle*  
Nina: WTF? Oh, jeez... Ken, do I have to save your ass EVERY time?  
Paul: EEEEEEEEEEK! Save MEEEEEEEE!  
Professor: I'm 35, straight, and have an IQ of 86. Durrrr.  
Algernon: *Squeak squeak squeak eat cheese squeak squeak is a normal rat*  
The Nachtezweiger: I brake for main characters.  
Duke Zweig: I DA MAN!  
Johannes: *does stuff around the house*  
Anna: *Gets drunk and stays out till 2AM.*  
Shonen: Hi! Wanna be my friend?  
Poet: *Is useful*  
Tatyana: I'm a Lasaiev, and proud of it!  
Wood: *Doesn't look doofy*  
Herman: Jackal was my bestest fwiend EVER! *hic*  
Black: *Downs a can of spinach and proceeds to hilariously kick %#&.*  
Gwayne: Hi, kids! I'm Barney!  
Boston: Mmmm! Melted butter, yummy!  
Leonid: Anne Rice, you shall pay for your hideous slander against vampirekind!  
Zhi Lin: *does that annoying peace-sign-thing*  
Bai Meiling: Weird?! How dare you call me that! I'm the sanest character in the forkin' game!  
Yan Fan: I'm such a wuss.  
Undine: I think I'll take up FIRE magic! Mu ha ha ha ha haa!  
Volcano: Good, good! Burn up everything! Uwee h-- wait a minute, who the #$%& gave me the FF6 script?  
Yousei: Look for my new game, Bondage Fairies SaGa, starring me, Yousei! [And alllll my girlfriends in the fairy village! ^_~ ] Out in stores now!  
Yuki: Bwa ha ha. I have an Eternal Ice Crystal. Ph34r me.   
Forneus: *La li la di da dee do*  
Aunas: Oh my God, it's Frosty! I'm screwed! *flees*  
Byunei: *Makes the Walrus sound from Eskimo Bob*  
Arakes: Yo, yo, yo, dawgs! What up and happenin' in tha Aby-zouse?! *starts rapping*  
The Destroyer: And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling main characters!  
  
...I think I just set my bar waaaaaay too high.   
That, and about 75% of all the complaints about this post will be b/c people missed that word up there at the beginning... the one between "would" and "say".


End file.
